I consider that as a good thing, because it also means that I don't often have the craving to drink or use anymore. I no longer have to consciously ask myself how in the world I am going to stay sober for the rest of the day, which is a beautiful relief, because for a long time in my sobriety I wanted to drink, especially when I started working the 12 Steps and faced some uncomfortable memories and painful feelings.



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So here I am, nineteen years old. I can see and feel that little seven year old me so clearly it's like she's standing right next to me all the time. It fills me with so much joy and sadness to remember back... so I don't go back there very often. Since I had that realization and vision yesterday, I have this new feeling in my chest... It's familiar and yet has been so long since I've felt it so strongly.



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