I'm ashamed of my character defects, of the judgmental thoughts I have, of the greedy, manipulative behaviors I act out. I'm ashamed and embaressed of my weaknesses, of the dark places inside me. It seems impossible to rise above them, and impossibly painful to actually talk about them out loud with someone else. My sponsor is a beautiful, wonderful woman, but the thought of her knowing everything about me makes me want to hide in a cave for the rest of my life.
2013 has brought me magnificent changes in my body, mind and spirit. I've continued to work the Steps in Alcoholics Anonymous and now Al-Anon as well. I surf and write and play and work... and I have fallen deeply in love in a way that I did not think was possible.