My Study Of The Big book
The beginning of Chapter 2 in the Big Book reminds me of my friendship with the people in AA. A lot of my friends now are people who I would have ignored or even been mean to in my drinking days. I feel more connected and supported by my program friends than by my parents or anyone else I know.
I also like reading the Big Book because it's great to get the reminder of what it was like and what I usually felt like when I was drinking: "misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad spouses and parents..." I always thought it was other people, places and things that made me feel crappy; it didn't fully occur to me that all the crap could be a direct cause of my drinking/using behavior.
The next parts of the chapter are really helpful to me, especially because of my current living situation and occupation! The Big Book basically tells me how to treat others. My communal living situation and having a lot of responsibility is challenging, so I like the reminder to keep a humble, helpful and accepting attitude.
I remember in my last days of drinking especially, I had no power over my addictions. Food, alcohol, drugs, sex... saying "no" rarely crossed my mind, and if it did I knew I couldn't deny my compulsions.
But my favorite part of this chapter is the solution! My life and my thinking is so different from how I used to be. My recovery has been subtle, slow and steady. It's definitely been a spiritual experience, and I am so, so, so grateful.
I also like reading the Big Book because it's great to get the reminder of what it was like and what I usually felt like when I was drinking: "misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad spouses and parents..." I always thought it was other people, places and things that made me feel crappy; it didn't fully occur to me that all the crap could be a direct cause of my drinking/using behavior.
The next parts of the chapter are really helpful to me, especially because of my current living situation and occupation! The Big Book basically tells me how to treat others. My communal living situation and having a lot of responsibility is challenging, so I like the reminder to keep a humble, helpful and accepting attitude.
I remember in my last days of drinking especially, I had no power over my addictions. Food, alcohol, drugs, sex... saying "no" rarely crossed my mind, and if it did I knew I couldn't deny my compulsions.
But my favorite part of this chapter is the solution! My life and my thinking is so different from how I used to be. My recovery has been subtle, slow and steady. It's definitely been a spiritual experience, and I am so, so, so grateful.
