new Heights
I was asked to speak at a meeting the other night, and the topic was How To Stay Away From One Drink One Day At A Time. I'm really grateful for the opportunity to speak there because it made me directly ask myself that important question. How I stay sober each day has become my life, and yet lately it hasn't been something I think about often.
I consider that as a good thing, because it also means that I don't often have the craving to drink or use anymore. I no longer have to consciously ask myself how in the world I am going to stay sober for the rest of the day, which is a beautiful relief, because for a long time in my sobriety I wanted to drink, especially when I started working the 12 Steps and faced some uncomfortable memories and painful feelings.
I believe I am sober because I made the decision to surrender to a Power greater than me. My life, my thoughts, my relationships, all the sadness and pain and fear... I realized it was out of my control. Constant rememberance of my Higher Power keeps me sane and feeling safe! I make the daily, sometimes 1000 times daily, decision to surrender, and that makes the rest of my life easier. I'm more likely to make healthy decisions when I'm coming from a place of Love instead of fear. My healthy decisions in turn make more surrender and peace easier.
Here's a list of what I do, not to stay sober (I'm sober because of the Grace of my Higher Power), but a list of what turns my sobriety into recovery.
All of the above suggestions are basically me following my Truth, by consistently doing things that make me feel good about myself. Because when I feel good, I don't want to drink or use, and there's nothing I feel I have to hide.
I know my life will never get better if I drink again. Perhaps I would be able to control my drinking to a "reasonable" and "acceptable" level... for a time anyway. But that's living only a half-life! I don't want to live halfway, and I know my Higher Power doesn't want me to either.
When I am weak in human strength, I am strong in Divine strength. When I feel I can't go on another moment, when I feel that I must punch that person in the face, or I must run away, or I must eat that whole jar of tahini, I remember... that is my Divine power rising, lifting me up, to carry me to new heights.
I consider that as a good thing, because it also means that I don't often have the craving to drink or use anymore. I no longer have to consciously ask myself how in the world I am going to stay sober for the rest of the day, which is a beautiful relief, because for a long time in my sobriety I wanted to drink, especially when I started working the 12 Steps and faced some uncomfortable memories and painful feelings.
I believe I am sober because I made the decision to surrender to a Power greater than me. My life, my thoughts, my relationships, all the sadness and pain and fear... I realized it was out of my control. Constant rememberance of my Higher Power keeps me sane and feeling safe! I make the daily, sometimes 1000 times daily, decision to surrender, and that makes the rest of my life easier. I'm more likely to make healthy decisions when I'm coming from a place of Love instead of fear. My healthy decisions in turn make more surrender and peace easier.
Here's a list of what I do, not to stay sober (I'm sober because of the Grace of my Higher Power), but a list of what turns my sobriety into recovery.
- Prayer
- Share what I am thinking and feeling with others. Especially when I don't want to!
- Milk the moment for good things. Be GRATEEFUL.
- Remember that my God's loving Eyes are on me all the time, taking care of me.
- Stay in the present moment, especially when I'm upset and excited.
- Thoroughly and daily working the Steps.
- Read AA and Al-Anon and other Recovery literature
- Be around people that are in recovery
- Be of service
- Take good care of my physical, mental and emotional needs
- Al Anon meetings and watching John Bradshaw tapes
All of the above suggestions are basically me following my Truth, by consistently doing things that make me feel good about myself. Because when I feel good, I don't want to drink or use, and there's nothing I feel I have to hide.
I know my life will never get better if I drink again. Perhaps I would be able to control my drinking to a "reasonable" and "acceptable" level... for a time anyway. But that's living only a half-life! I don't want to live halfway, and I know my Higher Power doesn't want me to either.
When I am weak in human strength, I am strong in Divine strength. When I feel I can't go on another moment, when I feel that I must punch that person in the face, or I must run away, or I must eat that whole jar of tahini, I remember... that is my Divine power rising, lifting me up, to carry me to new heights.