Speaking Of Miracles
All my life I wanted to believe in magic. Most of my stories since I first started writing in 1st Grade were about portals to other worlds, talking animals, and adventures with Unicorns and Elves. Even my most recent short stories and novels almost all deal in the metaphysical.
But I realized soon after arriving in Hawai'i that I didn't believe in miracles, in magic, in things happening that can't totally be explained. In fact I found myself becoming angry at the mere mention of spaceships, fairies, "seeing" aura's and energy. Then after the anger, came desperation and frustration as I condemned myself for having never seen an angel or an E.T. or someone's energy.
And then... before I knew it I was communicating with my roommates without speaking out loud, intuitively knowing how someone was feeling and what aspect of life they were probably having trouble with; I was somehow knowing what someone needed or wanted to hear, and I could sense if someone had a "being" around them. Not only that, I noticed the flux of my own emotions and the millions of sensations that pass through my body and mind every day. I began to notice my own feelings, my own troubles, and I have been able to let go of so much hurt with a neutrality and forgiveness I had no idea I could ever possess. Because of the daily Yoga, Pranayama, meditation, Ayurvedic food, steady stream of work, and the 12 Steps, I have begun to come alive; I have begun to wake up.
And today, (finally) during meditation in the temple... something happened. I was sitting crosslegged on a flat orange pillow, my eyes closed as I listened to the Swami chant. Then it was like something broke away from me and went upward, and it took the form of a bird, then more specifically it appeared to me as an enormous, magnifcent, red and blue parrot. I focused my energy so I was suddenly inside the parrot, and we flew out of the temple and went in small circles just above the holy place. Then I came back to my body, and the parrot landed on my arm, but it felt too heavy so I asked it to stay out of my space and fifteen feet above my head. The parrot obeyed and every time I felt distracted from my meditation, I thought of the parrot and it brought my thoughts back to God.
I don't fully understand what happened this morning, and I still don't know exactly how telepathic communication works, but the point is that my life is full of magic now, and not always in the fairies and mind-reading way (although there is that too). My life is full of acceptance, fulfilling work, invigorating challenges and meditations guided by a red and blue parrot. I know this is only the beginning of the magic, and maybe one day I can heal people like my spiritual teacher does.
It's a beautiful thing to believe in miracles and in the possibility of the impossible. I was too narrowminded (and drunk or hungover) to even let myself consider spontaneous healing or levitation. But my world is now a thousand shades brighter and is expanding rapidly every day.
Speaking of miracles, I'm goinging to a Big Book Study meeting tonight! And tomorrow morning, maybe there will be an incredibly large, shiny parrot ruffling its feathers on the windowsill, waiting to guide me... who knows where. I am learning to expect the unexpected!
But I realized soon after arriving in Hawai'i that I didn't believe in miracles, in magic, in things happening that can't totally be explained. In fact I found myself becoming angry at the mere mention of spaceships, fairies, "seeing" aura's and energy. Then after the anger, came desperation and frustration as I condemned myself for having never seen an angel or an E.T. or someone's energy.
And then... before I knew it I was communicating with my roommates without speaking out loud, intuitively knowing how someone was feeling and what aspect of life they were probably having trouble with; I was somehow knowing what someone needed or wanted to hear, and I could sense if someone had a "being" around them. Not only that, I noticed the flux of my own emotions and the millions of sensations that pass through my body and mind every day. I began to notice my own feelings, my own troubles, and I have been able to let go of so much hurt with a neutrality and forgiveness I had no idea I could ever possess. Because of the daily Yoga, Pranayama, meditation, Ayurvedic food, steady stream of work, and the 12 Steps, I have begun to come alive; I have begun to wake up.
And today, (finally) during meditation in the temple... something happened. I was sitting crosslegged on a flat orange pillow, my eyes closed as I listened to the Swami chant. Then it was like something broke away from me and went upward, and it took the form of a bird, then more specifically it appeared to me as an enormous, magnifcent, red and blue parrot. I focused my energy so I was suddenly inside the parrot, and we flew out of the temple and went in small circles just above the holy place. Then I came back to my body, and the parrot landed on my arm, but it felt too heavy so I asked it to stay out of my space and fifteen feet above my head. The parrot obeyed and every time I felt distracted from my meditation, I thought of the parrot and it brought my thoughts back to God.
I don't fully understand what happened this morning, and I still don't know exactly how telepathic communication works, but the point is that my life is full of magic now, and not always in the fairies and mind-reading way (although there is that too). My life is full of acceptance, fulfilling work, invigorating challenges and meditations guided by a red and blue parrot. I know this is only the beginning of the magic, and maybe one day I can heal people like my spiritual teacher does.
It's a beautiful thing to believe in miracles and in the possibility of the impossible. I was too narrowminded (and drunk or hungover) to even let myself consider spontaneous healing or levitation. But my world is now a thousand shades brighter and is expanding rapidly every day.
Speaking of miracles, I'm goinging to a Big Book Study meeting tonight! And tomorrow morning, maybe there will be an incredibly large, shiny parrot ruffling its feathers on the windowsill, waiting to guide me... who knows where. I am learning to expect the unexpected!
