To Thine Own Self Be True
My favorite saying, that is also on all the AA chips, is this simple phrase: To Thine Own Self Be True.
It never meant much to me until recently, when I began to realize that who I am, and what I am worth, is not based at all on others' opinions of me. I have spent most of my life obsessing over what others think. I constantly wondered what I could do to either hurt them or make them like me. If I liked a guy, and he rejected me, I would be filled with shame and hate. I would obsess about it for a long time, wondering where I had gone wrong.
I cannot think of one aspect of my life now that is not my Truth. I don't think that a lot of people in the world can say that, especially not with all of the media crap, movies and music that tell us that what we wear, what we drive, and where we live is all that matters.
My search for peace has taken me from Florida to Hawai'i, from the depths of addiction to the trials and joys of disciplined spiritual living. My search has taken me deep inside myself, and through the Steps of AA, I can face my inner demons with compassion, and my inner goodness with gratitude. Do you know what it is like to wake up in the morning and know that this is exactly where you are meant to be? It is a beautiful feeling, and one that I do not take for granted.
I am on the path that my Higher Power has carved out for me, and I know this because even when I am angry, sad, and scared... There is a quietness in my chest, a nugget of peace in my mind, that is unshakeable in any circumstance. I believe this is me letting God in more and more each day.
I am taking care of my body and my mind with utmost care, while helping other people whenever and wherever I can (to the best of my ability. I'm still practicing selfless service. It's a difficult concept for someone as selfish as me.) What more is there, really? What else brings lasting joy except for kindess to myself and to everyone and everything around me? Nothing does. All other things just bring fleeting pleasure. I like fleeting pleasures, of course...
But nothing compares to the flock of doves in my chest that fly on the breath of God, or the slow way I fall asleep at night, cocooned in my deep breaths. What greater joy is there than to catch myself smiling while in meditation, the stars melting away as the blue liquid of dawn approaches? None of this would have been possible without my God, and without Alcoholics Anonymous.
Grateful doesn't even begin to cover how much love I can now hold. I hope the same for the rest of you, too.
It never meant much to me until recently, when I began to realize that who I am, and what I am worth, is not based at all on others' opinions of me. I have spent most of my life obsessing over what others think. I constantly wondered what I could do to either hurt them or make them like me. If I liked a guy, and he rejected me, I would be filled with shame and hate. I would obsess about it for a long time, wondering where I had gone wrong.
I cannot think of one aspect of my life now that is not my Truth. I don't think that a lot of people in the world can say that, especially not with all of the media crap, movies and music that tell us that what we wear, what we drive, and where we live is all that matters.
My search for peace has taken me from Florida to Hawai'i, from the depths of addiction to the trials and joys of disciplined spiritual living. My search has taken me deep inside myself, and through the Steps of AA, I can face my inner demons with compassion, and my inner goodness with gratitude. Do you know what it is like to wake up in the morning and know that this is exactly where you are meant to be? It is a beautiful feeling, and one that I do not take for granted.
I am on the path that my Higher Power has carved out for me, and I know this because even when I am angry, sad, and scared... There is a quietness in my chest, a nugget of peace in my mind, that is unshakeable in any circumstance. I believe this is me letting God in more and more each day.
I am taking care of my body and my mind with utmost care, while helping other people whenever and wherever I can (to the best of my ability. I'm still practicing selfless service. It's a difficult concept for someone as selfish as me.) What more is there, really? What else brings lasting joy except for kindess to myself and to everyone and everything around me? Nothing does. All other things just bring fleeting pleasure. I like fleeting pleasures, of course...
But nothing compares to the flock of doves in my chest that fly on the breath of God, or the slow way I fall asleep at night, cocooned in my deep breaths. What greater joy is there than to catch myself smiling while in meditation, the stars melting away as the blue liquid of dawn approaches? None of this would have been possible without my God, and without Alcoholics Anonymous.
Grateful doesn't even begin to cover how much love I can now hold. I hope the same for the rest of you, too.
