Ultimately, that's what I want, no matter what my ego tries to whisper in my ear. My ego tells me I have to be right, that I have to be the best, that I had better get the most food and the best boyfriend and the most money, because everyone is going to eventually screw me over, God isn't all-powerful, and then all I will have is the material things I have collected, which will make me happy.
I spent this winter on Kaua'i, and survived Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter without taking a single drink! I enjoyed delicious Ayurvedic meals, surfed on Thanksgiving Day and went through plenty of realizations and transformations. It was one of the happiest seasons of my life so far.